Da Problem With Pie

We has gotzta be lookin out fer ourselves, cuz we gots us an unlikely enemy. PIE!
It makes dem humans get addicted to it an den it hynotizes thum inta takin over da world and stuff like dat, so we gotza be real careful dat we don't let dem humans gobble up pie.

Dis is pie:
http://pixabay.com/en/pie-crust-lattice-apple-pie-50407/
http://pixabay.com/en/apple-pie-apple-cake-fruit-sweet-6005/
http://pixabay.com/en/food-outline-pie-desserts-party-31817/
http://pixabay.com/en/apple-food-pizza-slice-fruit-menu-25308/
http://pixabay.com/en/apple-pie-slice-plate-presentation-80102/

Pizza is also a pie, but it ain't bad cuz dem humans gots stuff on it ter make it not bad and stuff.

We Gots us Lotsa Cool Stuff

We gots us a buncha dem cookbooks dat we gonna use ta bake yummy stuff fer our team. Its gonna be real swell

Our Buddies Who Gonna Help us out Real Good

We needs us some companions ter help us on our destroying da world things. Whaddaya think? We could enlist...

....DA COWS.
Dey real good at bein' all innocent lookin cuz all humans think dey do is eat. Yeah, right. Dey supa stealthy, PLUS dey  sound cool when dey "Moo". Whatta good battle cry! Dis baby looks sad, and sad cows=cute cows. Cute=innocent. Dat real good.

...DA DUCKS
Dey swim round in all da waters and are real good fer distractin' da humans! Also, dey are good on a variable diet, which is real good, cuz in da Antarctic we gots us not a lot o' food. And dey can swim, swimming real stealthy, and stealth REEEEEEEEEAL good.

...DA PIGS
Now dese lil babies are some real smart 'uns, dey are. Dude, dey are cute and naughty and love ter poke fun at da human's daft noses and all. Dey all reeeeeal swell buddies and we bets us we gonna be real good friends ter dem if we ask real nice. Any V.I.Ps who gots some manners can volunteer to ask em below.

An some o da beavers and da other cool dudes'll help us too as long as we gets us all da glory! So,  if ya gots any real sweet ideas fer us ter get in contact with da best creatures!!! DESTROY DA HUMANS!

Da Supa-Secret Code fer Da Penguins

Here izza real secret code dat can fool da humans!

PIC-Penguin In Crime
PPR-Permanent Penguin Record
SPS-Secret Penguin Society
DW-Defeat World
TBM-The Brain Method(Being smart to destroy the world)
PASADEFT-Penguins Are So Awesome Don't Ever Forget That
( O ( ) O )-A Penguin
SPN-Secret Penguin Name
PPC-Penguin Pass Code
M2N-Meeting Tonight

Ain't day real good?

A Cute Penguin is Gonna help us, y'all hear dat?

Guess what? A real cute penguin gonna be written bout in a book and den it's gonna be a hit so everyone will think penguins are just cute again. Dis is gonna be da cover of it so ya know dis is gonna be a real good book. It bout penguin called Puddle. Yay Puddle.He a VIP, Very Important Penguin

Oh No!

Problem! Dis website called  "Penguin Safety Awareness" is on our case! We gotta watch out fer ourselves. Our Madagascar cuzzies are gettin us inta big trouble! Let's us think up a good plan to escape dem human's suspisions and den do our sneak attack plan!! YEAH!

We Are Planning To Destroy Da World!

We will destroy da world and make it ours! Humans have owned the galaxies for way to long. We will join forces now and den we gonna attack zem humans good. Y'hear? So let's all confess dat we are not, as we pretend, real humans fer true and stuff. We are PENGUINS by heart. Destroy Da Humans!